Lights
by badtzmaruhoe
Summary: Noodle lives day to day in pain, seeing the one person she loves most in the world happy with someone else. Everything they do together is another reason to inflict pain on herself. How is she going to be able to control her urge cut while she's carrying a little piece of him inside her ? give it a try ?
1. Chapter 1

: Hope you like :)

~~Noodle's POV~~

Ask me how it feels to see the one person you care most for in the world, happy with someone else. I could tell exactly how it feels.

When the blade pierces my skin, creating a fresh new wound that fills with blood until it dries becoming another scar, is what helps me relieve the pain that throbs in my heart.

I wounder sometimes if anyone can see through the warm yet fake smile i give them everyday, if only they could though.

Everything was perfect before she came along. When he didn't belong to anyone and with everyday my feeling for him turned into pure love. I wouldn't lock myself in my room for hours, cring until my eyes would begin to bruise.

I cried so many nights, eventually it wasn't enough. Just the thought of them together was enough to make me sick to my stomach, but seeing them together made me even worse.

Every touch, Every hug, Every kiss, Ever I love you made me lose control of myself. One night I just couldn't cry, I couldn't think. My rage was just to intense.

I walked into the kitchen and searched for the sharpest knife I could find. When I did I walked back to my room, locked the door and that is when it started.

I stretched my arm out and before I knew what I was doing I dug the knife into my arm. I felt pain for a second then complete _exstacy_. I fell onto my bed and let my mind drift off to sleep.

Russel banged on my door the next morning since the door was locked. his yells for me to "wake up" and "open the door" made me jump up to a puddle of blood from my arm and the knife on the floor.

I _paniced_ "I'm changing, be out in a minute."

I heard his loud foot steps walk away from my door. I walked into the bathroom in my room and cleaned the cut, then hid the knife in the cabinet under the sink.

I wore a black long sleeve shirt for the rest of the day to hide what i had done the night before, which was shocking to the others since wearing long sleeve shirts and pants wasn't something I did.

As time went on, their relationship grew stronger. My complection became paler then my normal tone almost to the point where I looked absoultly sick. I would barley eat anymore, I could go hours without food. Cutting became a frequent thing, it was my only escape. My heart was in pieces and there was nothing i could do but hide. I hid how hurt i was inside, how i was destroying myself, and it was all because of Paula.

: the first chapter was pretty dark, I know but let me know what you think ? thanks 3 .


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Thanks to everyone for the positive feedback. I'm sorry this chapter is late, I've had writers block for almost a week but at around 5:30 this morning the idea hit me so I hope you like it! I made this chapter longer and I could have sworn I gave the ages in the last chapter but I'm sorry I didn't. Noodle is 19 and for fun 2D is 26. Yes I am aware of them actually being 12 years apart but blahhh !

~~Noodle's POV~~

I use to love watching the sunrise, sometimes me and 2D use to watch it together. It's one of the things I miss about him. Now I just see the sunrise as the beginning to another depressing day for me, where I have to hide how broken I feel, not to mention what I've been the destruction I've done to my body. What happened to me?

~~Normal POV~~

After making positively sure that any of her scars weren't exposed Noodle left her room and headed to the kitchen. She sat down at the table, her hand pressing against her face supporting her head as she looked down, just staring deeply at the table. Tears began escaping her already puffy eyes.

'Why do I feel this way? Crying countless nights as if you can hear me. Cutting myself as if you can feel the pain I go through every day when I see you with Paula. Could it be all the grease she globs onto her hair? Or all the wrong shades of dark eye shadows she applies to her wicked face? Maybe the fact that every piece of clothing she wears is two sizes way to same.' She just sat there a thought to herself. Her mind yelled and argued for what seemed liked hours, eventually giving Noodle a head ache.

Right before she could even think about getting up, she heard a voice.

"Wot do you mean, you can't 'andle this anymore?" Noodle raised her head, it was him nearby in the living room but who was he yelling at?

"It's ova, I can't deal wifh 'ow selfish you are." As hard as he possibly could, 2D slammed his phone against the living room floor. He walked into the kitchen and noticed Noodle at the table. She was puzzled.

"Ohh... Good mornin Noodle luv. I didn't realize you were up." He sat down next to her.

"It's almost 1 in the afternoon." Noodle had no idea what to think or say, her heart was beating way to fast.

"Ohh then good afta noon luv." He said with a sigh, and then put his head down.

"Are you ok? I kind of heard."

"I don't fink Paula will be coming 'round 'ere anymore, I've had it wifh her. " At that moment 2D got up and headed for outside after slamming the door very hard.

Noodle just stayed there. She felt as if a heavy boulder had been lifted off her shoulders. A small smile appeared on her face, almost as if a piece of her heart had started to form again.

'I wouldn't call it happiness, but I do feel something.' Noodle got up and walked back to her room. She went to her room's bathroom, under the sink where she kept the knife that has been her limited escape.

With the knife securely in her hands she walked back into the kitchen, making sure Russel or Murdoc didn't see her, and went on to the balcony. She looked down at the knife in her hands and remember all the times she used it to inflict pain on herself, all the blood she's lost, every scar she created, and every tear that fell at that moment didn't matter.

"Not anymore." She threw the knife off the balcony, not caring at all where it landed.

~Later that night~

Noodle stayed awake in the living room. Sure the tv was on but she paid no mind to it. It was almost 3am and 2D had not come back from where he ran off to earlier. She was worried.

'Where could he be?' She thought over and over. Noodle had told Russel what happened earlier with 2D and he simply told Noodle not to worry but how could she not?

'This is the first night in a long time when I didn't have to cry myself to sleep, my eyes in pain from not nonstop hours of crying' she turned off the tv and yawned. She began to make her way towards her room.

On her way down the long hallway to her room, she heard the elevator doors open. 2D stumbled out, he reeked of pure liquor. He followed Noodle down the hallway.

Before she could open the door to her room, he pulled her into his embrace from around her waist. At that moment her heart stopped. From the corner of her eye she saw that it was 2D and relaxed. Breaking the hug from behind, she turned around slowly to face him, with a small shade of pink on her cheeks. It wasn't like him to be gone all day only to come home at almost 3:30 in the morning and hug her.

"2D what's going on?" she pressed her back against her closed room door. "Where have you've been. I waited up for you" she said effortlessly. He moved in closer to her, cupping her soft cheek. Her slightly puffy eyes staring back into his, watching his every move, until their lips met in a gentle kiss.

'Is this really happening?' She slowly brought her hands up to his shoulders, trying to deepen their moment.

He pulled away from their kiss for air, keeping his eyes on her and hers on him. Without looking away she managed to open the door to her room, slowly backing into it. He continued to follower her and closed the door behind him.

~Noodle's POV~

It was like magic. I stayed up for him, in all intentions of just making sure he was home safe and sound. The moment he kissed me I felt it, everything I ever wanted, just him. When he followed me into my room, I knew that every bit of sadness that I felt in the past was gone and far from my mind. I was just focused on him and he was focused on me. Luckily it was dark in my room, the only sign of light was from the beautiful moon outside, so he wasn't able to see the scar marks on my body because I gave myself to him.

Next chapter will be up sooner, I promise but like I said I had a serious case of writers block but I hope it was good enough. Just wait to see what happens next ;D but Review it please ? for me 3

Another thing, Sorry that I keep changing the point of view, certain parts of the story sounds much better if you get a visual of how Noodle feels rather than me just describing what's happening.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

To make things a whole lot easier, everything in Noodle's point of view or thoughts will be in **bold**. If it's not in bold it's just the normal view, ok.

Writers block is a horrible thing, it strikes me every two second.

**The light from the sun arising woke me the next morning, with his big hands wrapped around me. Last night had been a night that I hadn't even dreamed of, the start of the new me, the happy me.**

She closed her eyes trying to enjoy the moment, reminiscing the night before. Then it hit her.

"..Shit" she muttered. It was then that she realized it.

Under the covers she shared with 2D who was holding her against his chest, sound asleep, she was bare. Her naked body containing the cut marks she had created out of anger and hurt were exposed. The last thing she needed was for the love of her life to discover her dark pain inflicted secret.

**He can't see them.**

Panicking, her emerald eyes met with the floor. There laid the singer's cloths entwined with hers. As slow and smoothly as she could, she removed herself from 2D's grasp. Once freed she inched her was off the bed. Her goal, do not wake him up and let him stare at her bruised naked figure. She quickly gathered her clothes and put them on.

2D tossed over. He was the most relaxed he had ever been, which shocked him because the day before it seemed to him that his whole world was crashing down. But to him it felt like he was lying on a cloud.

Within a split second a horrible aching pain began ringing in the singer's head, it was an effect of a hangover coming on. His eyes shot open. Noodle was struggling to get her pants up when she noticed he was lifting his head.

"Where am I?" He grabbed his head looking around the room. The aching in his head growing, he needed his pills, something he went a long time without but this pain was becoming unbearable.

"Good morning 2D." Noodle sipped up her pants and sat back down on the bed. She had a warm smile on her face.

"Morning luv…" 2D put his hands in his head then jumped. He was naked, and in the most comfiest bed he'd ever lied in. The only person he knew with that kind of bed was Noodle.

Noodle noticed that 2D looked like he was in a lot of discomfort. She moved in closer to him. Her lips pecked his cheek. 2D's eyes went wide. Noodle began running her fingers through his soft block locks.

He couldn't handle it anymore. What was going on? He could hardly remember a thing from last night.

"Wot's goin on Noodle.." He closed his eyes.

Noodle's hands left his hair and rested on his shoulders. She kissed his other cheek.

"2D, last night was everything and more that I could of ever dreamed of"

At that moment it all hit him. Why he woke up in Noodle's bed, completely naked.

"It all happened so fast though." Noodle's eyes met with his. "You never gave me the chance to tell you what I've been wanting to tell you for a long time."

2D was getting nervous. What had he done?

"For the past couple of months, I began to realize my genuine and true feelings…for you." Noodle moved her legs over on top of him; the only thing separating them was the blanket the singer still had covering the bottom half of his naked body.

Without even thinking, 2D wrapped his arms around her waist. He had never really noticed before how beautiful Noodle had become. Her bright green eyes, all of her focus was just on him. In a way he felt weak against her gaze. Holding her then made him feel something. The agony of his hangover had disappeared, but then a new feeling over taking his soul. His palms were becoming sweaty.

"But I've had to hide them because of… well" Noodle looked down. "Because of wot luv?" He moved in closer, mere distance away from her lips. "Because you were with Paula." Noodle looked back up, her eyes staring at his lips. "I thought I'd never have the chance to tell you that i…love you"

Closing of the distance, their lips collided.

The sound of large footsteps could be heard outside the door, then a bang at the door. "Noodle, it's time to get up baby girl." Russel said.

The couple broke away from their caress. "Be right out Russ." Noodle yelled back. The sound of his large footsteps leaving from in front of the Axe Princess's room door.

Smiling, Noodle pressed her forehead against 2D's, her soft hand brushing against his cheek. "You should go before he comes back and bangs down my door." 2D chuckled. "You can't peep though luv."

Noodle remembered that the singer was still naked. She crawled off of him and dug her face into her pillow. "I'm not looking." She muffled. The scent of 2D's sweet smelling hair lingered on the pillow.

The singer quickly got up off the bed and grabbed his clothes from the floor. Once he was dressed, 2D sat back down on the bed.

'Wot's wrong wifh me?' he thought to himself. He rubbed back Noodle's hair, making her look up. 2D leaned in and pecked her lips once more before leaving.

When 2D got down into his room, he plopped down onto his bed. As much as he tried he couldn't remember anything from last night. Aside from his short term memory lose he had much more on his mind, Noodle. Before when they were together he felt it, their connection.

" 'hat's why I gave into 'er." He said to himself.

In the back of his mind he knew that they had sex, but was he really there?

It also bothered him that Noodle told him she has keeping her love for him a secret all this time, because he belonged to Paula, one of the biggest mistakes of his life. He clenched at the thought of her, it was a path he didn't want to walk down again, but he knew Noodle wasn't the same as her. Far fucking from it.

"It's been eight fucking months" he slurred. His relationship with Paula began eight months ago, when he asked her to be his girlfriend. Of course she didn't hesitate on saying yes and their journey began as a couple. The day he told and introduced her to Murdoc, Russel, and Noodle no one was quite impressed, especially not Noodle.

Around the band they were lovey dovey, but behind closed doors was when it started. The screaming, the fighting, the throwing things. They never agreed on anything. Then around their third month of being together, 2D began to have suspicions. He didn't want to believe she was up to no good.

Two months later, he walked in sight that broke him into a million and one pieces. Her legs entangled with another man. Every moan that escaped her mouth wasn't because of 2D but for another.

He was utterly heartbroken, but he never showed it to the band. Paula begged and pleaded him to forgive her and he willingly did. After then 2D became insufferable, always suspecting her of something, going through her phone.

The truth behind the matter was, he feared being alone. The feeling of having no one to love him made him feel so alone, something he always felt he was.

One day, 2D went through her phone, and there it was. A message from another man she had been secretly seeing. 2D had kept quiet until the next day when Paula called to cancel their going out plans. The singer knew that she was going off to probably be fucked again by the guy he caught her with before.

2D just ended it. He would rather face the reality of him being alone then be in a relationship that had absolutely nothing left.

Tears were streaming down his face from the memory. "Noodle is nothing like you." His eyes closed. He couldn't get Noodle off his mind. The feel of her soft lips against his made him want her.

That next morning Russel had seemed to be up quite early. He had made himself breakfast and sat at the table. When he was finished, Murdoc came into the kitchen with a newspaper in his hands, sitting down across from the large drummer. Russel swiftly got up and made Murdoc a quick cup of coffee.

Sipping it gratefully the two engaged in an ongoing conversation about the news, and then onto band practice then onto products they needed around the house.

From what seemed like hours of talking about nothing, Russel finally brought up an interesting topic.

"I'm alil worried about Noodle" Russel started.

"She has been acting rather strange the past few months, it's probably just a phase." Murdoc sipped his fifth cup of coffee.

"It hasn't just been the way she's actin, Have you noticed her outfits? It's the middle of August and she's wearing long sleeved shirts and sweaters."

"Russel, like I said it's a phase! She's a teenager ain't she? That's the beauty of being one. You go through a whole mess of awkward problems, only to laugh about them in your mid-thirties." Murdoc snorted.

Right then Noodle walked into the kitchen slowly. By the look on her face you could tell she didn't feel well. Noodle fell to the ground, reaching for the garbage can inches away from her. Panting very hard, she eventually hurled into the can, making loud sickening noises. Russel rushed over to her side, pulling her hair back.

"That's it! We're taking you to a doctor baby girl".

A/N: this is where I'm going to leave off. Promise the next chapter shall be up quick.

Sorry the ending was a bit sloppy, that's what happens when you are up around 5 in the morning forcing yourself to think, but Review it for me and let me know what you think


	4. Chapter 4

**(A/N):** When I promised to update sooner I swear my life became hectic.

School became a bitch.

My best friend in the whole wide world had baby daddy drama -.- .

& I became lazy...

But luckily,School is over !

My friend is sleeping

And I'm staying up until 5 a.m. determined to update, love me please because I only have one friend. Be my friend? (:

-remember everything in **bold** is just a thought or in point of view, you can tell which one is which.

**Somehow I managed to convince Russel that I was fine. I felt worse than a dog and Russel forcing me to go to the hospital was not helping. Because when you see someone you know heeled over and throwing up, your first instinct is to take them to the hospital? Shouldn't it be checking their temperature, or taking them to bed, making them soup, rubbing their belly... **

**Rubbing their belly? Who does that? Now I'm just really comparing myself to a dog huh? Dogs don't go to hospitals, but they can live in hotels,Ha. **

**I couldn't go, as much as Russel was concerned and worried he just wanted to make sure I was ok. I mean I was, after I hurled whatever was fucking with my stomach. That happened maybe two weeks ago, I wonder what it was though. I guess I'll never know. **

**Maybe I should have gone. Ever since that strange day my blader has been going haywire. I have to pee almost every hour. Even when I'm trying to sleep, I wake up and go! It's kind of annoying come to think of it. **

**Things with 2D couldn't be better though. It's been almost two weeks since he de flowered me and its the happiest I've felt in such a long time. **

**I guess we secretly agreed to keep our love a secret from Murdoc and Russel, it just wasn't time to tell them. Plus sneeking around with him gave me such a rush, I feel so alive when I'm with him. **

**For the last week, when Russel is sound and heavily snored to sleep and Murdoc was either out or inside his shaking winnie, I'd go down to 2D's room and just be with him. **

**Of course he's always watching movies, zombie ones. I just come in and snuggle next to him. I love when he wraps his long lanky arms around me, I feel so safe. When he holds me really close to his chest and I hear his heart beat really fast.**

When we kiss I just completely lose it. I get this strange feeling inside my tummy every time he pecks my neck. He is just incredible.

() It was around that time of the night when the large drummer was already fast asleep and the demon bass player was no where to be found.

()Noodle was alone in her room, laying down on her bed, just waiting. She began to yawn and tossed over. Her eyes were getting heavy, she was losing the fight to keep them open. She slowly fell into a light slumber.

Down in the singer's room, he was on his bed smiling. The tv was off contributing to the complete darkness in the room. **Tonight was the night.**

He knew that they weren't "officially" together, but ever since the night with Noodle's room they became even closer. He knew how she felt about him. 2D's feelings caught on fast. Even though that special night with her was still a blur to him. He knew it meant everything to her.

With Noodle it was a never ending happiness. Isn't that what a relationship should feel like? Being with someone who loves you, sneaks out of her room just to see you, keeping you warm and cuddling you, not to mention whenever he felt the pain of a headache coming on her smooth hands would rub his temple softly, making it just go away. Pills were becoming a thing in the past.

There wasn't a moment when he wasn't smiling or thinking about the Axe Princess, he knew what this feeling was and he always fear it with other women, but with Noodle it was different. Her love was pure and it was definite and just to add on he had her virginity, even if he couldn't remember how he still had it.

2D turned on his side. It bothered him that Noodle knew how that night went and he couldn't even figure out how he got home safely. The singer sighed shaking his head.

Where is she?

Usually by now she was already in his arms. That's where he wanted her, he needed to tell her what was on his mind.

He got up from his bed and headed straight for the lift. As he waited for the doors to open he noticed the Winnebago wasn't shaking.

"Pfft. Muds mus' be out."

The lift doors opened and he stepped inside. It only took the lift a few seconds to take the singer to floor that contained both Noodle and Russel's room. He tip toed pass the drummers room.

When he was right in front of her door. He lightly knocked on the door, then waited a second. He didn't hear any movement. So he slowly grabbed the knob and opened it. Once he was inside he closed the door without it making a sound.

She was sound asleep, so peaceful. He walked over to the bed and scooted next to her. they were face to face. He cupped her cheek. I drove him crazy how she managed to be so soft.

He brought his face closer towards hers until their lips met. After what felt like seconds Noodle leaned in. Since her eyes were still closed she thought it was just a dream. When they pulled away she realized it wasn't.

"'Ey sleepy 'ead" Noodle couldn't help but smile.

"What are you doing here?" She sat up and stretched. That's when she saw it and froze.

"I missed yew" he was in her room. "An' I needed to tell yew somefink love." And she was only in a tank top.

"Ohh... Uhh... What's that?" She was getting nervous. Her scars were exposed. 'Why?' She thought to herself.

2D moved in even closer and kissed her head. "Love, the way I feel wifh yew is somefink I havfent felt in a while. With yew, I'm happy." Her mind became focused on his words. What was he trying to say? Her tummy was starting to get this horrible feeling.

"Noodle... I" **I feel it coming up.** "I fink I..." **There it is.**

As quick as a flash, Noodle got out of her bed ran over to the bathroom and in the dark managed to find the toilet.

2D didn't know what just happened. He heard her throwing up and felt bad. He knew she hadn't been feeling well, even when she did say she was fine. The singer walked over to the bathroom, flicked the light on and went behind the guitarist, gently snatching the hair from in front of her face.

Then he saw it. A bruise on her arm, there were quit a couple.

When whatever that was upsetting Noodle's stomach passed she stood up and walked over to the sink cleaning out her mouth. 2D stood up with her still in shock from her arm. **What happened?**

"Noodle...yewr arm" her heart stopped. 'Shit'

"Wot happened?" He came closer to her. Noodle looked down. **What do I say?**

"It's nothing.." he noticed her other arm was full of cuts and more bruises too.

"It must be somefink love. Please tell me." He walked over to her but she backed away. Tears started flowing down her face. **What do I do?**

"I can't..." Noodle backed into the wall. 2D pressed against her.

"Did someone dew this to yew?" He was seriously concerned. Her eyes were planted on the ground. He cupped her face, bringing it up. Her eyes staring into his, tears now streaming down.

"No... I-I" 2D's expression changed from concerned to shocked. **You didn't.**

"Noodle, did yew dew this to yewrself?" He wanted her to say no.

"I-I...had to" 2D let go of her face and back away a bit.

"Why?" **This is it.**

"It was the only thing that helped with the pain" she hick upped. Before he could say anything she continued. "It killed me seeing you with Paula. Every time she kissed you, or touched you, or even when she said that she loved you...it destroyed me here" Noodle pointed at her heart.

2D went wide eyed. He had no idea how long this was going on.

"Whenever I... Whenever I cut myself... It helped the pain go away for awhile." she managed to get out.

This was his entire fault, he felt. Tears were forming in his eyes. He started walking towards her again but she pushed him away again.

"Just go..."She looked down at the floor again.

The singer was lost. When she was wearing long sleeve shirts and hoodies, or whenever she looked like she had been crying for days, losing her appetite were all because of him. He did this to her. He walked out of the bathroom and out of her room slowly.

When he was gone, Noodle sank to the floor still crying.

**(A/N):** how's that for long!

- I can feel at least one person tell me that Noodle's "symptoms" don't occur untill later on but ...

-Review please?(: the nicest review gets a surprise and it special!

-Welp I'm tired, night!


	5. Chapter 5

On my tumblr Anonymous asked: does the name "Lights" have a meaning to the story.

Honestly no, for fun I like to name my stories after songs I'm obsessed with at the time I publish the story.

So at the time I published this story, the song I replayed nonstop was Lights by Ellie Golding.

The more you know right? :) .com ;)

2D held his head in his hands. The darkness surrounding him whole. He was alone on his bed, thoughts racing around giving him the greatest head ache he ever had, so great pills couldn't contain the pain. It's been like this for the last week.

**It's my fault**

It had been a week since he had discovered Noodle's deep secret. The cuts and scars the adorned her body, they were proof that she had suffered because of him. Each representing every night she went to sleep with a broken heart. Thinking of Noodle, someone he had grown to love within only a few weeks, he hurt her so bad.

**Is it really my fault?**

In his defense, he had no idea. Sure she may have batted her eyes at him, and she wore the sweetest scent that caught his attraction, he loved the way she smelled.

**I'm an idiot.**

To be completely honest the scars didn't bother him, what's done is done.

**She wouldn't hurt herself for any reason.**

What did bother him was how badly hurt she was, and how well she kept it hidden from everyone.

**I never want her to feel that way again.**

()He wiped a tear from his eye. He hadn't seen the Axe Princess in seven days. That was going to change, things needed to be cleared. He didn't even have the chance to tell her what he felt deep down about her. How much he loved holding her, how much he loved the way she smelt so amazing sexy. That when he held her and kissed her he never wanted to let go. Things just felt so right when she was with him.

**Buh now...** Now he had a new reason.

Ever since the night 2D discovered her secret, Noodle just sat on the cold wooden floor, back leaning against her bed. She hugged her knees close to her chest and cried. It had been like this every night.

**I ruined everything.**

It had been a week. For the first three days she hadn't left her room not even for food. But around the fourth night, something was not right.

**Ughhh.**

She had to eat something. After the kitchen was completely empty she made her way in and devoured everything she could find.

Ham with rice and ketchup. Left over pizza with pickles mustard and gravy. Pretzels with hot sauce.

**The hot sauce did it.**

She ran back to her room, into the bathroom and puked.

**Why does this keep happening?**

Noodle sat next to the toilet, it had become her new friend.

**I need some fresh air.**

She made her way to the balcony, leaving her room door slightly open.

2D made his way up the stairs. Taking the lift would of made way to much noise. It would of disturbed the peaceful quite that shuttered the hallways. Once in front of Noodle's door he notice how little it was open and peeked is head in. It was dark. He saw no sign of life in the room.

**Where could she be?**

He began making his way to the kitchen. The dim light was always left on, out of the corner of his eye he saw a little shade of purple threw the balcony door window.

Noodle let the soft November wind brush against her skin, letting her hair dance along with it. The thought of 2D popped into her mind. Slow tears starting to fall.

**I can't fight the urge.**

She sighed, grabbing her wrist. She thought the self-harming part of her died the day she threw away her knife, but it was alive. She wanted the hurt to stop. Her grip around her wrist tightening, until

SNAP

She squealed in pain.

"Noodle?" 2D opened the door and walked onto the balcony.

Her heart dropped, for a second she ignored the pain she felt in her wrist. He turned, staring at him with her watery emerald eyes. Not being able to find the words to speak.

He came closer to her, cupping her face so she was staring into his never ending eyes.

"I hope your not mad at me..." He started. She shook her head and looked away from his gaze. He had to do something.

2D took Noodle's arm, kissing every place that was scared or bruised on her skin.

This made her eyes go wide. When he was done, he brought his hand back to her face.

"I had no idea I hurt yew so bad." Tears formed in his eyes.

"Noodle I... I love yew." The tears that started streaming down her face were uncontrollable.

"I don want yew hurting yewrself because of me." His words began to blur. The pain from her wrist was kicking in. Then she noticed he was still going on.

"What did you say?" She asked holding her wrist, hissing at the pain.

"No more hurtin' yewrself love."

"I ahh..." Noodle hissed again. The pain was unbearable. 2D noticed her flinch and her wrist were red.

"Noodle, your wrist!" 2D grabbed her other arm bringing her inside. She sat down at the table holding her wrist, while 2D grabbed some ice and put some in a plastic bag. He walking over to the drawers and rummaged through, looking for a cloth. When he found one he sat next to Noodle. Resting the cloth underneath her wrist and put the ice slowly on top.

Noodle felt the pain as the ice was lowered onto her. She shut her eyes tight.

"I'm scared to ask wot happened." He let go of the ice, letting Noodle control the pressure.

"I thought that it was over... Everything we had, because of my scars" she stopped in pain.

2D ran his fingers through his soft blue locks, leaning back against the chair. "Why would you fink that?"

"Because you left." She stared crying hysterical.

"Noodle, yew told me to leave."

"But I didn't mean it..." He didn't know what to say.

"When you left, I thought you felt disgusted with me." She rubbed the. Ice hard against her wrist, letting the pain take its toll on her.

"Love stop!" He gently placed his hand on hers, not wanting to cause her anymore pain. "Its not the scars I wos disgusted wifh... It wos me."

She looked up at him. He wiped the tears off of her face. "Why would you feel disgusted with yourself?"

"Because, I did this to yew. I made yew this way. Noods I love yew." She smiled.

"I love you too." She looked down, still smiling.

"Promise this won't happen again."

"It won't" he came closer towards her, cupping her face until their lips met. She loved when he kissed her. It was something that made her heart skip a beat.

After what seemed like hours they pulled away. Noodle's writs when numb, so she took off the dripping ice. 2D brought her wrist up softly to his lips and kissed her wrist.

"Make sure yewr careful for a few days love, until it fully heels."

"It's kind of feeling better, but I will" **anything to make him feel better.** Noodle felt something inside her stomach, which made her hug it only using her left arm.

"Yew haven't been feeling well for awhile now." 2D got up from the chair, walking around to Noodle's chair and picking her up bridal style.

"I think it's about time you went to see a doctor.

-While I was writing this chapter I got another Anonymous tumblr question asking why I haven't mentioned Russel and or Murdoc in awhile.

They will eventually appear, just give it time.

- I'm pretty sure everyone has gone through a self harming stage in their life, including myself. This chapter was actually based on my past harming technique. I DO NOT recommend or promote self harming, before I start getting blame for stuff that you are clearly doing to yourself at your own risk.

- If anything I help a lot of people who have attempted or thought about cutting or hurting themselves. I wish I had someone to stop and help me through hard times, blah. I'm not a judgmental person. Everyone has a road they go down.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I want to thank my best friend Aridai for helping me with the last chapter and this chapter, with well-known experience. I love you and our little one Alex.

He's not actually mine but I love him like my own.

xxx

**When I wake up in the morning, everything from the night before is such a blur. It takes me a few minutes to remember what happened. **

**Then I felt a tight grasp around my waist. He was laying behind me, so peaceful. Then came a sharp pain in my wrist. **

**It all came back to me. How my wrist popped. **

**2D was so concerned about me in general he didn't want to leave my side. What kind of girlfriend would I be to argue with him? He was also keeping me pretty warm, but I had to get up to pee. **

**When I moved his arm to free myself, I heard him toss over. **

**I haven't been myself lately I have to admit. Me and my body just haven't been agreeing with each other. I've been feeling incredibly sick, I need to pee almost every single hour. My upper body is very soar and tender, especially my breasts. Maybe there growing? If them growing caused this much effect on body, I **_**don't**_** want them at all. **

**when she was done in the bathroom Noodle came out and noticed 2D sitting up on her bed. She went over and cuddled up next to him, being very careful with her wrist. It wasn't as bad as it was the night before, but she didn't want to risk it, she couldn't take anymore pain on top of the torture her body was going through now. **

"How are yew feeling love?" He took Noodle's hand in his, not wanting to disturb her injured wrist.

I can see the worry in his eyes, I wish he wouldn't so much.

"I'm feeling alright." She smiled at him, nuzzeling her nose against his. "First time in a while I haven't woken up sick to my stomach."

"Thas good to hear, but I wish yew would go see a doctor tew make sure yewr awright." Noodle backed away.

"I wish you wouldn't worry about me so much."

"How could I not worry 'bout yew, yew haven't been feelin right, yew can't be to far from a bathroom. When you eat yew become a monster..." He was cut off.

"Is that a problem for you? I told you I am fine, there's probably just a bug going around." She removed her hand from his.

"Love, bugs don't get yew sick and if they do the sickness doesn't last a month!" The tone is his voice was beginning to change. That made Noodle clench, this was just making her aggravated.

"Look! There is NOTHING wrong with me! I'm fine! Stop bothering me about going to see a doctor for NO reason!" She snapped.

2D got up from her bed. "Yew know what, I'm sorry I cared to much. People can come down wifh sicknesses all the time. Some of those sicknesses are serious and if yew don't catch them in time, who knows what will happen." He grabed his sneakers and walked over to the door. "Like I said, I'm sorry I worried Noodle."

And with that he left her room

Noodle sighed to herself.

**I couldn't be a bigger fuck up if I tried.**

xxx

2D walked into the kitchen. He sighed and sat down at the table by himself. Shockingly Russel was no where to be found.

I don't care wot she says, I know something is wrong wifh her.

He ran his fingers through his incredibly soft blue hair then an idea came to his mind. ()He quickly took his phone out of his butt pocket and dialed a number.

The phone rang a few times before a voice answered the call.

"I just... Need someone to talk too, can we... Meet up maybe?" After another minute he shut his phone and made his way towards the car park.

xxx

**I can't believe what a horrible person I've become, especially to 2D.**

**He has such a big heart but of course I had to go and tell him off. **

**I bet Paula wasn't as horrible to him like I am.**

**2D deserves so much better then me. All I do is push him away. I don't mean too. **

**I appreciate him caring about me but I don't think there is anything wrong with me.**

**Or... Is there?**

Noodle got up from her bed and exited her room. She made her way down the hall and to the lift. When the lift doors opened she entered and pushed the button for the car park.

When she left the lift, she walked over to Murdoc's winnebago.

Noodle knew that Murdoc was the only one she could talk to who would give her the advice she needed, no questions no judgment. It's what she loved about him.

She knocked on the door.

She heard stumbling and mumbles as he came to open the door.

"Ohh it's you, Noodle love." As soon as he opened the door, the scent of the mobile home hit her nose instantly.

"Can I talk to you Murdoc?"

"Of course love, always have time for you. Want to come in?" If she whiffed the smell anymore she was guaranteed of her just throwing up.

"Umm... Could we just speak out here?" Murdoc stepped out and closed the door. "So what's on your mind?" She breathed in before she began.

"Well I... I haven't really been feeling well" Murdoc stared at her. "You haven't? What's been wrong with ya?"

"I've been throwing up a lot, I always have to use the bathroom, I've been eating the craziest things, my body is really sore and worn out, plus I've been really crabby and moody"

"Ahh I see." Murdoc noticed that Noodle's wrist was covered in a bandage. His fingers taping his chin.

"2D noticed, but when he tried to help I yelled at him. I don't know what's wrong with me." She looked down.

"He can be an annoying little twat sometimes, ehhh I don't blame you for yelling at him. Your body is probably just growing love, nothing to get work up over." She smiled.

"Thank you Murdoc."

Before she walked off Murdoc stopped her.

"Love what's wrong with your arm?" She swallowed really loudly."Ohh...this. Its nothing, really." She ran over into the lift before he could askher anymore questions.

xxx

2D was sitting in a coffee shop in town, twittling with his fingers, waiting.

After a couple of minutes, Paula walked through the doors of the shop.

She spotted 2D and walked over towards the table sitting down.

"Is everything alright? You called in such a hurry." She removed her coat, giving him her full attention.

"Yeah everyfing is awright... Well not really...it's just..." He was becoming frustrated, not knowing what to say.

"Well what's going on Stu?"

**She's the only one who still calls me that.**

"I have a problem" he shook his head from his thoughts. "It's Noodle..."

Paula gave him a shocked look. Before when they were together, 2D didn't really ever talk about Noodle, besides a brag here and there about how fantastic her guitar skills.

"Is she ok?" She had no idea where this was heading.

"No... She's not. For the last month now she has been throwing up, her eating habits are disgusting and she's always complaining she's in pain" 2D stopped to breath.

"On top of that, she's been hurting herself." Paula's eyes went wide.

"Hurting herself? How?"

"She's wos cutting herself because..." He didn't know if he should of told Paula the rest. "Because of reasons..."

She leaned back.

**She never seemed like the type to hurt herself.**

"I just don't know what to do wifh her. I care a lot for her but every time I try to show her she snaps at me."

"To be honest, it sounds to me like she's cramping or worse." She chuckled. 2D began sweating. "Wots worse?"

"Or she could be pregnant but I dout that." His heart stopped. He never considered it. "Stu... Are you alright?" He came back to earth.

"Wot if she's pregnant?"He asked with no emotion.

"That's impossible, you would...have to" it finally came to her. "You had Sex with her?!" 2D was taken back.

"She says we did but..." He was interrupted. ()"What do you mean she says you did?!"

"I don't remember anyfing from that night, I was drunk off my rocker! But the next mornin I wos in her room... Naked and she wos on top of me saying how much she loved me." He rubbed his neck, he didn't feel comfortable telling her this but at the moment she was the only one he could go too.

"I can't believe this..." Paula was a bit more hurt then shocked. She figured that after the break up, they could give each other a bit of space they'd kiss and make up. That was obviously not happening.

"Paula, right now you're the only one I can turn to now" he started shaking. "Wot do I do?" She sighed, feeling sorry.

"First, you need to know for sure." She grabbed her bag and fumbled around in it, until she pulled out a small box, giving it to him. "Give her this."

2D took the box from her hands, staring at it. "Yew just carry pregnancy tests wifh yew?" He snorted.

"It's just for decoration, I guess." Paula got up, pulling on her coat. "Let me know how it all goes." She smiled at him. 2D grabed her wrist gently, standing up and coming closer to her. "I can't thank yew enough." She cupped his cheek, bringing them nose to nose. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't do this to Noodle especially discovering her past.

As his thoughts got the better of him, Paula pulled back and walked away, leaving him there confused.

xxx

Noodle was laying down on her bed. The thought of how Murdoc's winnie smelt kept haunting her, eventually leading to her daily throw up schedule. She sighed.

**There is something wrong with me.**

Tears were starting to roll down her face. She just wanted 2D to cuddle her.

**What if there is something seriously wrong with me?**

She began thinking of all the horrible things that could be wrong with her, completely scaring herself.

Then there was a knock at the door.

"Noods...its me." She sniffed

"Come in." She said faintly. 2D came in with one hand behind his back, holding the small box. He walked over and sat on his bed. He noticed her cheeks were stained with tears.

She came closer to him, hugging his neck softly. "I'm sorry D" he let go of small package and hugged her back. "You were right...something is not right with me." She moved back to stare into his eyes with the most sincerest look she had, not letting go of him. "I'm sorry I yelled at you...I didn't mean it and after you left I felt so horrible." She started crying again.

He wiped away her tears. "Awe love yewr not horrible." She cupped his face. "You only tried to help and I pushed you away."

"If yew pushed me away, why am I still 'ere?" She smiled at him. "But I think I might know what's wrong wifh yew." She kept her gaze on him as he turned picked up the box and placed it in her hand.

Noodle gasped. "A pregnancy test?""We need to make sure love." She shivered. This had never crossed her mind.

Then again, it only takes one or not.

"Ok." 2D kissed her softly before she got up and made her way to the bathroom.

**The instructions say wait 3 minutes.**

2D remained on her bed waiting. After 15 nerve racking minutes, Noodle came out holding the stick.

"I'm pregnant."

Xxx

- I'm exhausted, ha!

- Please review. It only takes about 1 minute and makes another person happy.

- Also use protection! It's going to be the moral of this story.

- Plus my crazy friend actually does keep the craziest things in her bag for fun, pregnancy tests happen to be one of them, I don't get it x3


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I don't know what to say, Enjoy (insert happy face here)

xxx

"I'm pregnant." Noodle held the stick in her hand, staring at 2D who was sitting on her bed.

He sat there. His fingers locked against each other with his lips pressed against them. He was shaking. Thoughts racing through his mind. If his heart pounded any harder it was going to rip threw his skin.

Then his mind crashed. This mind went blank. He stood up from her bed and made his way to the door.

"D?" She ran over and grabbed his wrist, completely dropping the stick. "Where are you going?" Tears were streaming down her face. He wiggled out of her grab and opened the door. "Please..."

He closed the door behind him.

"Don't leave me."

She walked back over to her bed and lied down on her back.

"So you're the reason I haven't been feeling well huh?" She ran her hand over her tummy. It was still small but with the slightest sign of a bump.

"At least you won't leave me."

xxx

2D made it to his room.

**How is this happening? **

Then he felt it. A headache was coming.

He fell back onto his bed, closing his eyes.

**What am I gonna do?**

Tears started forming in his eyes, he was still shaking.

When the headache became bare able, he reached into his pocket, taking out his phone and dialing it.

"Paula... I just need you right now."

20 minutes later

His headache was gone, but his thoughts were taunting him. Then he heard a knock at the door.

"Stu" Paula walked into the dimly lit room. "What's going on?" She sat down on the bed. 2D sat up next to her.

"Noodle... She's pregnant." Her heart sank. **No...**

"She's really pregnant?" He layed back down. " I don't know wot to do. I can't even remember sleepin with her. Now she's in love wifh and she has my lil one inside her."

Something didn't sound right to Paula. "How do you not remember sleeping with her?"

"It's all a blank... I just woke up in her room the next morning."

"So how do you know for sure you slept with her?" She laid down next to him.

"I wos naked, plus she mentioned somfink about it." He sighed. "I shouldn't of had left her alone after she told me she was pregnant."

"You left her alone?!"

"I didn't know wot to do." He began shaking again.

"Your shaking." She started running her fingers through his hair. 2D faced her. She always knew how to keep him calm before he panicked.

"You need to just relax Stu. I know you may be confused but... She needs you"

**What am I saying? **

"Yewr right, I need to be wifh her."

**I need to stop being stupid. **

He jumped up from the bed and ran out the door, leaving Paula alone in his room.

She sat up and sighed.

**I know I've hurt him in the past but... Not as much as he is hurting me now.**

A tear rolled down her cheek but she wiped it away.

xxx

2D lightly knocked on Noodle's door. When there was no answer he slowly opened the door. He saw her sound asleep.

He closed the door behind him and tiptoed over to her bed and laid down next her. He kissed the top of her head. "I love yew Noods." He gently placed his arm over stomach trying to bring her closer.

Noodle felt someone moving her. She quickly opened her eyes only to see 2D. "I didn't mean to wake yew love."

"What are you doing?" She turned her head; she didn't want to face him.

"I'm sorry I left before...I wos just...I didn't know wot to do."

She didn't know what to say. She wanted to scream at him for leaving her, then again all she wanted was for him to hold her close and tell her that things were going to be fine.

Her thoughts attacked her and she began to sob.2D panicked again. He knew he had to stay calm for the sake of Noodle.

"Please don't cry Noodle." She couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Before when I asked you not to leave me you did." 2D removed his arm. "...No" before he could move she reached up and pulled him into a hug. She held onto him as if she was holding onto dear life. He wrapped his long warm arms around her, making sure he didn't crush her.

"This was all I wanted...before."

He felt horrible. Instead of keeping her consoled, he ran out in fear making the guitarist an even more emotion reck then what she already was.

"I'm not gonna leave you again."

"Promise?" She pulled away and looked into his endless eyes.

"I promise." He kissed her lips, hoping it would enough for her to forgive him.

Xxx

-ehhh I don't care much for this chapter.

-the next chapter is where the action will begin, if the action hasn't begun already.

- Sorry its short, and late but Review it please.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** As promised the action shall begin!

In order for that to happen, **I skipped ahead 1 month.**

So to keep you from being confused, **Noodle is 3 months now.**

And also shout out to _**Pickles**_, I love your reviews (insert happy crying smiley face here). Enjoy!

xxx

2D was sitting alone at the kitchen table, running his long fingers through his incredibly soft hair. How did he do it?

**Sometimes I can't take her.**

Noodle being pregnant was taking a huge toll on him. All he wanted was to keep her happy but in the process it was causing him his own happiness.

Every two seconds they would argue and fight, then she would cry, he would feel guilty and hold her and they would apologize but in a matter of hours the cycle would continue.

He questioned his feelings for her. He knew that they were there but at times they weren't, for instance now. He just wanted to run away and escape it all.

**I can't leave her though.**

Then there were times like now when they would return. It wasn't that she didn't make him happy, because she did. Whenever he saw her his insides would turn, his knees would be weak, his stomach would flutter, all that jazz.

It was when she turned into cranky head ripping off she beast. It made him want to rip his hair out, but didn't because it was perfect.

**What do I do? I can't take it anymore.**

The singer then looked over to the counter. One of his flick knives were sitting next to the sink.

"Hmm" he stood up and walked over towards it to pick it up.

"Wot is this doing here?" He whispered to himself.

"I didn't leave this here... Did I?"

Thoughts ran through his mind. He didn't bring this upstairs, he knew that for sure.

"Noodle..."

xxx

Noodle was inside the lift, on her way down to the car park. It was killing her on the inside. After discovering she was pregnant the vomit stopped, but then came faze two: mood swings.

She hated the fact that she was crabby and always a wreck but what hurt her most was that 2D was the one who got all the shit.

The doors opened and she stepped out. A few steps straight and she was in front of the Winnie. She knocked on the door.

**Please be there. Please be there.**

A few seconds later the door opened.

"Noodle love... Er is um everything alright?" She tried looking over his shoulder. He was to tall.

**What is he doing?**

"I need to talk to you..." He stood straight. "It's serious..."

**What am I doing?**

He stepped out of the Winne and closed the door.

"Is everything alright love?" She gently grabbed locked arms with him. "Let's talk upstairs... Where there's no echo." She giggled.

Murdoc was lost but went along with it. Noodle was his prize, his protege. No matter what she wanted, she had it, no question asked. He had her completely on a pedestal.

Once they reached the balcony Noodle breathed in the air from landfill. It was a smell she was use to over the years, but she didn't think the smell was good for the baby.

**He's going to find out eventually.**

"I have...to tell you something." She stared down at the landfill, it was covered in soft white January snow, the only time a year it wasn't such an eye sore. Murdoc gave her his full attention.

"Please don't hate me." She turned to look into his mixed matched eyes. Tears started forming in her eyes. Who could hate someone with such beautiful emerald eyes.

"Noodle, I could never hate you. Why would you say that?" It came out, like word vomit.

"Because I'm pregnant." She covered her mouth with her hand. Murdoc's expression changed quickly. He had no idea what to say. Sure he loved Noodle the same way Russel did, maybe a little more but the shock just made him lose it.

"Your...How?...I mean...what?!" She looked down again; she saw the disappointment in his eyes.

"I...2D and I well" he snapped.

"I'll kill him." Murdoc turned so quickly, like a shark. "No No Murdoc please!" She managed to pull him back and turn him around.

"Don't hurt him...I'm already doing that." The tears started flowing down. "I am a monster to him." She hugged his chest sobbing into it; he could feel the small bump where her stomach was.

"You're not a monster love." He hugged her back. "Yes I am. I fight with him for no reason. I give him the dirtiest attitudes. Then when he tries to defend himself, I make him feel bad by crying." She mumbled into his shirt.

For once, he base player felt bad. "I'm scared that I'm going to push him over the edge and he's just going to leave."

He knew he had to calm her down. "Well it's obvious you're just going through mood swings, every woman goes through that. The one thing man fear when dealing with their bird being knocked up."

She looked up at him "And don't worry about the idiot, he's not going anywhere. Just go easy on him love." He wiped away the tear line from her cheek.

"Thank you Murdoc." She gave him a small smile. "No problem. Whenever you need anything I'm always here, seriously." She giggled and pulled away. Murdoc was able to see her swollen abdominal.

"So how far along are you?"

xxx

2D let the darkness of his room take a toll on him. Then the door opened and the light flicked on.

"Ok I'm here." Paula set her bag down and removed her coat. "Is everything alright?" He sat to face her.

Just by the way his face looked; she knew she had to do something. There were bags under his eyes, not to mention his eyes were red as if he was crying.

"I can't take it anymore." He started. Paula leaned in closer, placing her hand sensually on his leg. "All she does is fight wifh me, I found one of my knives in the kitchen, She is completely draining me." It was her moment.

She cupped his face and leaned in until their lips met. 2D leand in and kissed her back. Then Paula's hand found its way upwards towards his crotch. 2D came back to earth.

"Wot the fuck is going on?" He pulled away from her. "This wasn't supposed to happen...I'm gonna go." She stood up quickly and grabbed her things. 2D stood after her. "Wot wasn't supposed to happen?" She headed for the door but he stopped her.

"This...this entire situation!" He was confused. "Paula, wot are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you fucking someone else within hours of our break up, getting her pregnant and then calling me to complain about how miserable you are!" Her eyes started to water. "You don't get it."

She attempted to leave again but he wouldn't let her. "Wot am I not getting?" He moved away from the door abit. "The fact that I still love you." And with that she walked out the door.

xxx

**We haven't seen him all day. Do you think he's hiding from us?**

**If he is, I don't blame him. I've been so horrible to him lately.**

The guitarist rubbed her belly.

**I miss him already. Do you?**

She felt the tiniest little flutter in her tummy, she took it as a yes.

"I have to make things right." Noodle stood up and left his room.

xxx

There was so much to think about. But when you over think things too much you eventually tire yourself out.

He was asleep on his bed, so peacefully. When he would fight with Noodle he was never able to sleep.

**Noodle...**

She tiptoed across the parking lot to the on the side that led to her destination. By the time she reach his door, she had douts.

**What if he doesn't want to see me? Us?**

She sighed and then lightly opened the door. It was dark, without light in sight. Admittedly she felt relieved to see him sleeping.

Lightly walking over towards his bed and sitting down close to him, she started playing with his hair.

"I know that I haven't really been easy to get along with lately, and I'm sorry. I've been awful to you." 2D heard her speaking. He loved her voice her.

"I missed you so much today" the fluttery feeling came back. "Actually we missed you so much today, and well I over thought about why you stayed away." That made him feel bad. He didn't realize he was practically avoiding her.

"It made me appreciate everything that you do for me like trying your hardest to keep me happy. You probably don't know this but just seeing you makes me happy." He smiled.

**Wot was I thinking?**

"I love you D (flutter) Sorry, we love you. I promise I'm going to change." 2D leaned up and kissed her dead on her lips. She loved how slightly chapped his lips were.

"So you heard what I said?" She pulled away and smiled.

"Every word" he smiled back and made their heads touch. "Good because I didn't want to repeat it" they both laughed together.

Yawning, 2D brought her into his arms and they both laid down.

"There something else I have to tell you." She closed her eyes. "Hmm?" "Murdoc knows I'm pregnant."

"Fuck".

Xxx

**A/N:** yeah! Longest chapter! Woot!

-Ok so in my perspective, exactly how I described how Murdoc sees Noodle is real. I think he does treat her amazingly despite the whole Plastic Beach thing, but I digress.

-Review and let me know what you think, ohh and I love you_** Pickles**_. You make me so happy, you deserve PIE!


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N**: I'm BACK! I promised my boyfriend I'd say that. After much much MUCH convincing I have decided to return and complete this story, It was killing me leaving it the way I did so in order for me to not be able to sleep at night due to writers block I must continue. Enjoy!

xxx

**Wot am I not getting?" **

He moved away from the door abit.

**"The fact that I still love you."** And with that she walked out the door.

That image stayed within his mind. As much as he wanted to erase that moment from his memory he just couldn't.

**"I can't take it anymore. All she does is fight wifh me."**

**"This wasn't supposed to happen...this...this entire situation!" **

Paula was the main reason this entire problem began in the first place. She had her chance to be with an outstanding man, so why did she blow it? What was so wrong about him that drove her into the arms of another man or men for all he knows?

**"I'm talking about you fucking someone else within hours of our break up, getting her pregnant and then calling me to complain about how miserable you are!" **

"Pfft!" Escaped his lips.

What happened that night was magical, everything he ever wanted... Right? It's not like he intentional made love to Noodle, he couldn't even remember coming home, But it was her fault he was that way.

She treated him similar to dumpster dog, betrayed by his uncaring owners and what did he do? He let her hurt him time after time. He forgave her for loving another living being the way he wanted her to love him.

"All of a sudden now...Now is when yew love me."

The singer began to question what he just said. **Now?**

**What is it Now? What is so different?**

The only difference between then and now is that 2D didn't have the disgusting title of 'her boyfriend'.

**Her lips that day were so warm. Could she have changed? She may have lost her chance to be with me, but will I lose my chance to be with a different her?**

Thoughts were racing, his mind pumping.

"I'm not ready fo' this..."

On the night stand next his bedside laid a small black box. It was to his love who has been holding his unborn infant for 6 months, or that's who he intended to give it too.

"I just need to know..."

**xxx**

"Hmm" she placed her hand on the swollen lump on her stomach.

**How are you today little one? **

Noodle felt a little bit of movement where her hand was, that was usually where the baby kicked.

**Only 3 more months until I can meet you. Did you know that you already have very special people that love you already?**

Noodle smiled as her thoughts continued to cross.

**There's uncle Russ and uncle Murdoc. Then there's mommy, who loves you so much...**

She looked down.

**I hope you love me too little one.**

She closed her eyes and stared to become more relaxed.

**And there is one more person who I know you will love, daddy. Without him I wouldn't have you. He takes really good care of mommy you know. He is pretty much perfect. Words wouldn't be able to describe how much mommy loves him with all her heart.**

**That won't ever change little one...**

**Never.**

**xxx**

He sat there on his bed for what seemed like hours. Just waiting, until...

Knock knock

The singer stood tall and made his way over towards the door. On the opposite side of the door stood Paula.

"I'm here" she kissed his cheek.

"t's about time!" he laughed.

She smiled back at him then made her way to his bed.

**I'm willing to forget this whole situation you created to start over with you.**

He sat next to her, arms mear inches away from each other.

"Paula I... I need to know sumfink."

"Mhm..."

"Wot is so different 'bout us now then from before?"

She turned away from him.

**You mean besides the fact that you have another female carrying your baby? **

Her eyes watered.

**But, I'm no better. I hurt you twice as hard as you hurt me.**

"I guess now, we managed to realize how much we betrayed each other."

2D cupped her face, their eyes met in an everlasting gaze.

"I didn't know I hurt yew Paula... If anyfink I felt like I wos holding you back from being with someone else."

"Things between us were awful... But that doesn't mean that they can't change."

He smiled and wiped tears that just began to stream down her face. Before she knew it, 2D pulled her into his embrace.

At that very moment the door opened.

"D? I was wonder..."

The couple on the bed both turned towards the door.

There she was, a fear she wished to never become true. The one bit of light left within the darkness of her life, the one she loved was in the arms of another.

Ironically enough 2D was doing to Noodle what he feared Paula had done to him.

"Noodle..." was all he could manage to mutter.

**xxx**

**A/N**: I have one thing to say!

Review!

** .com**


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